Anniversaries

I had planned to write an entry on June 16th because it is when Joe and I got married.... but I didn't, I watched a bunch of movies instead.
I'm OK with that though..... we were married 3 years ago because I wanted to quit my job and I wanted to be on his insurance.
There were other reasons.... less cold reasons... but .... there are things that are more important to me than our anniversary -so- instead I wrote an entry about Peanut butter and pickle sandwiches.... it is sort of my love letter to him.

On Fathers Day it was the 10 year anniversary of my Mom's death. I had planned to lock myself in a room for a few hours and spill my digital guts....but I didn't do that either. Instead we spent the day at Joe's sisters house watching Boris play with the rest of the dogs in the family. I think we made the right choice.... I would rather have living experiences ... and I have plenty of time to piece together the past later.

.....and lastly it has been roughly 10 years since Star Wars Episode I came out ..... so I wanted to write a little bit about that..... and how I find it absolutely stunning that 10 years have passed.... I was in High School for the 10 year anniversary of A New Hope... the years between kindergarten and High school were literally a life time for me...... and now if I hear a song I like from 10 years ago I feel cool and modern. It all seems impossible. AND then it hits me..... My Dad who knows great details about every car made from 52'-59'---- that's me now..... I'm just old, it is a very simple answer.

Here for fun is a link to a journal entry I wrote the night before seeing Episode I for the first time.

Peanutbutter and Pickle Sandwiches

Joe is the only person I have ever met who eats Peanut butter and pickle sandwiches. When I discovered this I was full of a warm feeling... we were meant to be... this was a sign.

I remember at the time I had a thought strike me, I was being foolish. The only reason either of us ate PB&Ps was because our Mommies made them for us. Neither of us discovered that taste on our own. And they are awesome so of course we liked them.

So, what we had was an obscure but coincidental taste for the same food.
I believed that it was an odd similarity and not fate.

However, I enjoyed telling that story to others. I did not embellish the story.... and I even threw in a skeptical assertions like, "It's only a coincidence".......... but some part of me knew where they would take it. I think I opened up to people who (I believed) would make the cosmic connections for me.
I liked the world they painted. I felt special thinking that Joe and I were together because of some beautiful and magical force. So I played along ... never agreeing with them, but, taking a ride on their belief that something beyond coincidence existed. I liked getting lost in those sort of dreamy romantic thoughts.
I put peanut butter and pickle in Google today, and I found multiple listings. 12 pages of people getting off on how crAzy they were for eating this sandwich.
Do I share a divine connection with all of them?

I'm embarrassed for allowing myself knowingly to be such a silly little girl on this. I am ashamed for the cheap thrills I got out of something I knew was superficial. ...And it is difficult for me to admit without buffering my actions, that I purposely used the people around me to visit a place I could not go myself.

However.... that brings me to a point that I am happy about. I don't really need to do that now. After 18 years together -more than half of my life- we have -Substance- gained through a shared life, many common interests, trust, and well earned faith in ... us.
Joe is my best friend,
my Husband,
and I still have a girlly crush on him sometimes.
It would seem very empty to me if I still gave any weight or magical credibility to a sandwich.
I have so much more than that in my hands.

Feeling Better

Boris is doing better....right now he seems perfectly normal. That makes me so happy! Last night at this time we had him loaded in our van... taking him to the all night emergency clinic. He just kept walking around like a zombie, drooling and staring at the wall... it was like he was responding to the time cues that he normally followed but didn't have the energy respond normally. At 10:40p.m. he was standing next to our bed like he was ready to wake us up for work.....but he wasn't wagging his tail or jumping up on us. He was just standing there, drooling and not responding to his name or any commands. It was very creepy in a fearful future way. Joe and I both were afraid that he had fried his brains with a high fever, and that we were going to have a zombie dog for the rest of his life.
Fortunately, once he hit the cold air and had the excitement of going in the car he perked up. He began looking around in an alert receptive way, so we just went home.
Today I cooked him some rice and he ate it .... he drank some water .... and now he is bugging me while I write this wanting to play tug with a little stuffed duck I bought him at Walgreens today. ...and I don't mind a bit!

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We ate at Outback Steakhouse today..... it has been harder to go since the Fox Point restaurant closed... That's where we had our wedding reception 3 years ago (June 16th 2006) There were only 7 people at our wedding, including us, so we all fit nicely at the table.
******
I spent a little time at Half Priced Books today.... and I found some really cool stuff. This is what I bought.

Shadow Warriors- 1st season box set
Primal Myths-Creation Myths Around the World
The Gods of The Egyptians-Studies in Egyptian Mythology Vol.1
The Egyptian Book of the Dead
Myths Dreams and Religion- Edited by Joseph Campbell
American Tall Tales
Hello Kitty Haiku Note Cards

I am a little worried though... sometimes if I buy too many books I don't read them... they end up on the shelf.... and I buy something new before I get to them. If I buy just one book I tend to obsess over it a little more.
I just finished How We Believe-Science Skepticism and the Search for God by Michael Shermer.I am also reading Transformations of Myth Through Time out loud to Joe...... usually while he is playing Legends of wrestling... :) Don't get me wrong I am not slighting him in any way, he is involved in what I am reading.... I love the conversations we have. I just mentioned it because I find it slightly funny too....
I have to admit wrestling is one of the few topics that I totally zone out and do the "yes honey- oooh that's nice" thing on. Usually, we have similar interests... I skew more into anime than him, he knows more about It's A Living.... but we are on the same page. With this I play typical girl.... and I have no clue. I feel bad about that in a way because It seems like I could tap into this nostalgia wave with him... but.... I'm lost, and there is really no one else to share it with.
This is getting long and unwieldy... I better go, It is time to wake up Joe and watch a horror movie!!!!

Bois is sick

We are at the beginning of a four day weekend... These are the things in my head tonight.
- My dog is sick. I think it is just a minor, passing cold or flu. However, that hasn't stopped me from imagining a thousand different ways that this could be fatal,or, a thousand different ways that I could be negligent. He seems to like ice cubes so I keep giving him those.
I no longer have any ice cube trays fit for humans.I only have ice cubes with dog treats in them.

I just keep starring at him trying to make sure he is breathing.

-We have a washer/drier being delivered tomorrow, and I haven't gotten anything ready. I could care less about clothes but I am excited about this new machine. It is a front load washer and drier.............it does something with steam... ???? clothes get clean, that sort of thing.... it was on clearance($700 marked down from $2000) BUT the cool part is, it has some weird magnetic generator thing and when the tub spins it generates power itself. The guy at the store gave it a few spins and the display lights came on... and it wasn't plugged in..... that was when I made my decision to buy.

-I spent the week downloading torrents of movies that I remembered from when I was a kid.I will write more about that later.( see here- Movie Weekends)

- It's Raining
- Robert stopped over today (Joe's nephew) Boris was excited, and that made me happy.

Nostalgia

Joe is asleep.....I should be waking him up,It's time.

Today at work I was disappointed