Work broke me for a little while. I was beaten by the daily routine and had gotten to the point that I only looked forward to the weekend... I was skimming through the hours, and wasting my life. I still find myself doing that. Right now I feel good only because I took control over my weekend and preplanned a vacation day so that I wouldn't be hit up for overtime this weekend. I feel like I won somehow, but, it is sad in its' own way that I consider it a win for me burning one of my vacation days just to insure that I will have a full and complete Saturday.... a day that I should be able to count on without any tricks.
BUT-----
This post isn't about complaints... it is about possibilities. I have been working a lot on my patterns... putting them on wooden balls.... and I think I may be able to sell them. I have done quite a few now, and I still find them exciting... I don't feel like I am manufacturing them and pushing them out just to make money. I am driven to do them just because of my own obsessive tendencies.... that makes me happy. I get a little squeamish when I am done... out of my hand they feel a bit ornamental or simply decorative... but I guess who cares. For years I avoided putting patterns in my work because I felt like it was some sort of cheat...like I was pandering. but... fuck it ... I enjoy this ... if I can sell them I might be able to make enough to pay the mortgage and if I can do that I can quit my job, and work for myself.
Now comes the hard part for me ... the final stage of polish ... the packaging and the selling.... it all scares me ....
I am taking baby steps. - I proved that I can produce that won't be a problem ... in fact it makes me feel good. - I signed up for an Etsy account. - I started taking pictures that seem acceptable (even though I have to retake them because there is dog hair in every shot... but I got a technique now). -and I singed up for a free sample pack of standard rate shipping boxes.
For me this level of effort is amazing. Usually when I am done working on something I loose interest in it .....and misplace it or use it for a doorstop.... that is if I finish it at all.
I feel simple feeling proud about any of this but, I admit I am ... I think I can do this ...
Here are some pics, I have them posted on my journal also.
