43!

Well I am 43 now...
I thought I would be posting a huge list of horror movies but so far we have mainly been watching anime (Re Life) and the new Luke Cage series on Netflix ..... We watched Sugar Hill (1974) and a few other movies .... but we aren't on pace to beat any old records or anything. :)
it's OK though...
......
on Deviant art there was a poll asking why you create art .... I thought my answer turned out interesting so I am reposting it here:

Option 1 "keeps my sanity"
Even though it feels a lot like going crazy...
I can't stop even if I want to..... this might sound a little pathetic... but....

When my life is at its worst, when I have lost myself to the real world (shitty jobs, tragedy, stress, anxiety ) and I feel empty..... my compulsion to create angrily asserts itself.... it is like a voice in the darkness that tells me I am not worthless... that there is more to me than can be taken away or lost. 
The patterns that I draw show up in everything... they haunt my dreams and flash behind my eyelids in the hazy moments just before and after sleep .... they find their way to paper if I come close to holding a pen..... 
I don't mean to imply that my creative desires are really soothing or comforting when they rescue me from giving into the mundane....... it's more like there is some last little angry seed that is indignant about being suffocated.... and it is going to survive and take revenge on my complacency....
I am in a pretty good spot now, so I realize that The anger will die down when I accept and respect the part of me that creates.... and I can find a soothing edge to all of this....but I would have to say (when I have really needed it,) if my art is therapy for me it feels like some kind of -scared straight, tough love slap in the face....not a soothing bubble bath with candles. 

Another Dump....

I am getting more and more tight..... not sure why... it isn't bad really. But I guess I am a little squeamish about the idea that tiny details are an impressive technical feat.... 

I am working small and tight for emotional / psychological  reasons, not to impress....

Well, I'm not going to worry.... I always worry too much. 

Wicked World (rainbow)

This started as an alien landscape.... a rainbow in a world without color.... but I can't decide if even I think that concept is hokey or profound.... so I went with Wicked World....... I like the sound of the word wicked ..... it has a nice twisting sound....... and everything drawn seems to have spikes and attaching tendrils.... 

However, now I am kind of bristling at the idea that this is somehow an evil place. If anything I think it would be unintentionally toxic to foreign life. 

Unglamorous Becky

Organization

I haven't written anything here for a little while...My eyes are burning now ...   sleep sounds charming and comforting and nice and .... I don't think I will make it very far......
But, I did want to just throw a few things out here.
 Recently I sold something on my Etsy store... It made me very happy.
Everything went well and the customer seemed happy as well....
 This is kind of funny... I was so nervous about the shipment ... I made myself a little check list of what would go in the box just to make sure ..... this is also where I calculated totals....I'm so organized...

(even my checklists are weird...)

So now what...
 I have been thinking of posting some new stuff .... taking some pics .... and maybe writing an artists bio..... I think I am going to follow the form of this web site http://www.artsyshark.com/2014/08/26/how-to-write-an-amazing-artist-statement/
because it sound like the most fun to work with.... and I will see where I go from there...
I plan on posting the expanded version here (maybe DA ) and then I will edit the hell out of it.

...zzzzzz... ok got to go sleep is calling

Mixed Work

Ambiguous Growth

Blue Sycamore

Drawn for a contest.... I really like the structure of leaves....
This didn't scan so well though... it is more interesting in person.... I hit it with layers of satin spray lacquer so that there was a depth ....
The texture is a bit unique .... I think that is what caused the dull spots ....
Also I cut the leaf out so that the background would stay clean and very separate. ..... that worked to my advantage.... for once I have something centered rather than crowding the left edge.

And Then She..., and others.

And Then She..., and others.

Dead Crow

(Am I proud?... am I  ashamed of myself as I write this?... Sure.)

Joe came in and told me there was a large dead crow on the lawn. I wanted to go outside and draw it, ..... that was my first reaction.
 I regret now that I didn't.
It strikes me that I didn't feel pity until later, and even then I kept thinking of the opportunity not the sadness of the situation.
I kind of feel like a monster.
Joe told me when he disposed of it it was heavy .... he mentioned it's feet being huge..... that it was much different than when he threw away the sparrow that flew into our window.

I should have taken a close look at those feet.

I ended up searching for taxidermy and raven on Ebay. They are more expensive than I thought they would be.... but there was a skull that wasn't so bad.

I did an internship at the Milwaukee Public Museum  when I was in college (.... it was awesome.... )
They asked us to bring in any dead animals we found.  On the roof of the museum  there was a beetle enclosure.... to pick the bones clean.... I have wanted one of those ever since.....
:)   but I also know that I am not responsible enough for that .... they would escape and wind up in my kitchen or chewing my foot off or something.

modesty

Oddly this one has something to do with self confidence.... I had a weird little thought in my head about the cartoon version of a conscience .... you know the little devil and angel sitting on your shoulder.... and how they would deal with shame ....  and was shame a positive thing?

Dark Skull (filled)

Rooted and Space Rooted

Space Tree...

I just let her sleep

There are 3 things (maybe more) coming together on this .. my concepts usually flow in and out and around  but right now I feel like a few things are fighting.

#1 - 2 figures one sleeping comfortably the other awake and full of concerns the other is oblivious to .

#2- A dream I had a while ago that I was reminded of the other day.... the only element I took from the dream was the wriggling bed of tendrils .... even though what I sculpted isn't really like the dream .... but I am OK with going away from the source.

#3- the thought/ sentence that played itself over in my head while sculpting (related to idea #1) ... It was all ready too late, so I just let her sleep. 

This has been very frustrating... I know I say that often but there are just certain pieces I  work on and become less satisfied with as I go forward...

monkey head

 

Up to this point it was easy .... but I didn't feel like it was much of anything either .... I could have been satisfied with this , or something simpler .... I just wasn't .... so I let it sit unfinished for months...

I decided it didn't mean much to me so I should just go for it and DO something.... I added the squigglies.... and used light and dark fimo so there would be different depths when painted ..... 

This is the second version I tried black first.... I like how the red looked but I didn't like the narrative ... seemed like they were gutted ....

Still not done .... but so sick of it I don't want to touch it anymore.... Do  I run with this and go for a weed look? or ... ?!?!?

Nest

This is an early version of poison that I found when I  ran into a duplicate file name (bird)

... I Found It While Cleaning....

Crows

Arrogant

scrap

Hilltop Tree

There are thunder storms tonight.... the power keeps going out when there is a storm .... maybe I will lose it again tonight...... so I keep trying to post and respond quickly ...... because if the power goes out the internet will go with it ...... then I will have to wait for Joe to get home to reset the router .....

yikes .... very loud thunder ......

Hot humid thundering day.....

Dark Skull

Playing With Filters and Such

These are all affected digitally in one way or another.... some are fun, but cheap and just run through a single filter that did all the work for me .... and others while still cheap took a little bit of inventiveness ..... running images back and forth and sideways through different visual apps on my iPad . 

this one is fairly straight... I punched up the contrast and added a border .... but that's about it.