I saw Evil Dead for the first time when I was in Junior High. I was 13 when I started High School so I'm guessing that I was about 12 when we rented it.
Our family watched a lot of movies on the weekends. We usually watched them together, so it wasn't odd that we all sat down to watch Evil Dead , even though horror movies really weren't their thing.
I was laying on the floor, on my belly, with my head pointing to the set, My Mom was on the couch on one side of me and My Dad was in his chair on the other. ...And then the tree rape scene came on.
I was familiar with this viewing set-up and there were many awkward moments where I would catch a dirty joke and try not to laugh... or there was nudity and sexuality that I pretended to be too mature to notice. However, this was a lot different.
My body had a slightly painful and immediate burning sensation sweep through it expanding from some unfamiliar place between my legs. I had never experienced anything like it. I also realized that my legs were spread ...and that felt like a vulnerability, one that I had never noticed...I moved slowly to cross them.
It was a little bit horrible to discover those feelings for the first time in a room with other people.... not just people, parents. So I froze.... tons of panicked thoughts flew through my head....
I was conscious of my breath and my heart beat and my movement.... I think they all stopped.
I felt like any action I took would betray me, and they would know ....... but I wasn't even sure what I thought they would find out. It was terrible laying on the floor for what felt like forever hearing my heartbeat faster and faster. I think I excused myself and went into the bathroom because it was the only way I could think of to get out of that room.
Fortunately, later.... I realized my Dad had dozed off... and my Mom wasn't paying attention....
However
....It haunted me, in a troubling way. I knew, even through the unfortunate first viewing, that I liked it... really really liked it. So what was wrong with me.
I tried to separate myself emotionally from my interest in it. I wanted to see it again, as a sort of scientific test. I lost my nerve though.Much Later when given he chance to pick a video tape out of the clearance bin I chose a different movie over it...even though it was easily my top pick. I had become paranoid ... I thought my Mom was running her own test, and that she would be on to me if I picked that video out of the bin.
-----and then another unfortunate encounter---
At Morse Middle School-in art class- there was the boy's table. I thought of the group that sat there as friends, but I also knew that they teased me and fucked with me a little. So I was on edge when dealing with any of them.
One day one of the boys (Brian) asked me if I had seen Evil Dead. When I said yes he started to talk about that scene. Again I froze. I felt like my head would explode... they caught me! I couldn't speak... I am actually unable to tell you what happened for a portion of the conversation because my brain was so active that I was not connected to the world. By the time I came around, I realized I was being teased because I didn't understand what was going on in that scene. They were laughing at me because I didn't get it.
Normally I didn't like seeming like I was immature (probably because I was) and would have hated admitting that I didn't understand.This time however, his reaction actually calmed me... and I gladly opted out and confessed that I had no idea what he was talking about.
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