Thursday, December 17, 2015

Tonight we will see Star Wars the Force Awakens. .... So I am writing this before I see it.... I am trying not to carry baggage into the movie. I want to be open to it, but I have concerns that I have not been able to shake. ..... My concerns leave me a bit apathetic. ....I am terrible at artificially building hype within myself........ Usually I am interested in everything .....too many things, so it isn't a problem. I worry that I might be petty or spiteful on this. So.... This is what I worry about, these are the thoughts I want to purge....

I really love George Lucas,  I get whatever it is that he does. That includes the prequels.... But more importantly it includes American Grafitti. For me American Grafitti functions on several levels. If you get off on nostalgia and the warm fuzzy feelings inspired by old music and beautiful old cars it gives you that........ I was a child in the seventies but somehow the movie still feels like my personal nostalgia... But why I love the movie, what drives me crazy is the path Kurt takes..... Through the night he is shown everything he could be ... Everything staying at home could offer.... And some things seem warm and cozy and pleasant....But by the end of the movie he comes to a place where he rejects it.... He heads into a future of uncertainty and excitement. It is beautiful to me seeing him reaching a dawn where he can head off in the plane.I get all teary eyed thinking of the ( new surfer crap ) beach boys playing in the background .... Seeing that he is traveling in the same direction as the mysterious white car he chased all night.
  I see so many shared themes with Star Wars... All of the Star Wars movies...... (I have way more to say on this, maybe I will write it out sometime ... But moving on for now...)
Will that voice... That heart be missing? I think what I love is specifically provided by Lucas.
I think someone could love Star Wars because of it's fucking cool light saber fights, chotzkies (sp?) and god damned amazing space ship battles....creatures... And not need anything else.... From the trailers the new movie looks great.... I worry though... Even if what it offers is good, how will I see those symbols and react.... And not expect to hear a tone or a voice that might be missing.
Basically I fear that I can't go in clean.... I would like to.... But I cannot fake enthusiasm, and I just don't have it.
Not that it is a competition.... But it is almost a shame .... I feel the void I have on this very clearly because I am completely preoccupied by thoughts of Hateful Eight... I am so hungry for it I am so excited .... And the contrast between my anticipation for SWTFA and hateful eight makes me feel even worse.
Ok maybe I purged a bit .... Maybe as time moves forward my excitement will build.

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